He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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