I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
