I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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