Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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