Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
