I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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