The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.