So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize