i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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