oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
