She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
