I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
