I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
