Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
