i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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