5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
