We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
