Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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