i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
