So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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