I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
