so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
