I'm going to jail i love you
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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