i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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