I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
