It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
