OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
