At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
