It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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