I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
