I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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