Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
