D3 body, D1 cock
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
