He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
