I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
