Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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