Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
