Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
