I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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