Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
