My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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