Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
