I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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