He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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