I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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