I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
