i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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