why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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