wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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