nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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