I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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