Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize