Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
