he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize