She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
