She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm at about main and main street
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
