Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
