No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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