They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.