Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world