Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
