New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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