i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
