it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
