Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
