Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think your dad took our porno
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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