What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
