playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
